A Word to those Dating and Engaged

​By: Kellie Bloye, Counseling Intern

​Every little girl grows up picturing their wedding day. The dress, the venue, the cake, and most importantly the person standing at the end of the altar.  Our world does a great job of portraying this magical moment to be, well, a fairytale. A prince and a princess kind of moment.

Yet, something that too many couples lose sight of as they spend months planning, preparing and ensuring every last detail is perfect, is that this season of engagement may just be one of the most important seasons of your relationship.

There is nothing wrong with planning for your wedding day. In fact, planning a wedding is wonderful. It can be a sweet season of celebration and coordinating details. Yet, what if we put the same amount of emphasis on planning for the rest of the marriage as we do for the wedding day celebration?

What if we asked important questions such as:

“What expectations do you have for one another?”

“What will our budget look like and who will be in charge of it?”

“What will our daily schedule look like?”

“Where will we live?”

“How will we deal with conflict?”

“How will we keep moving forward as a couple when life becomes stressful?”

“How can I be the best spouse to you?”

These are questions that can change a marriage before the marriage covenant even takes place. These real questions can lead to conversations that can help the transition between engaged and married go smoothly and help you both be prepared when real life happens.

The fairytale wedding is what happens at the end of a movie; so we don’t see what happens after the fact, the reality is that marriage is challenging. It is indeed one of the most incredible gifts from the Lord to experience a small dose of his love through this beautiful covenant, but at the same time marriage can be challenging because life is challenging, but when we take the time to ask these questions, we can set our marriages up for utmost success.

Just as we are called - as believers in Christ - to prepare for the day when we will meet our groom, Christ, so, too, must we also prepare for our marriage here on Earth. While your wedding day will be a beautiful day of celebration and love, that is just the beginning.

So, as you prepare those last details and count down the days in anticipation of your big day, don’t forget to set aside some time to prepare for the marriage as well.  Here are a few resources you may want to consider to help you with that: Ready or Knot, Scott Kedersha, Marriage After God, Aaron & Jennifer Smith, A Lasting Promise, Scott Stanley and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Les & Leslie Parrott.  Another great resource in helping you are your fiancé have these conversations is premarital counseling. Some of these conversations may be tough, but having a counselor to help guide you through the process can set you up for a successful marriage before you even say “I do.”