M. Diane Pearce, Ph.D., LMFT
Finding myself having an intense reaction to others, because I feel slighted, discarded, overlooked and without value warrants a renewal of practicing meditations on truth. This calls for an adjustment of my auto-pilot or muscle memory reactions.
When someone says or does things that hurt me, it is time to consider and think on what I know to be true.
Help me to remember and rest in the awareness that…
I know that God values me as His own, because He made me.
I know that God calls me by name, because He rescues me from myself.
I know that God calls me to do for others, because He equips me.
Help me to remember and rest in the awareness of these truths, especially when I am hurt by the unavailability, abandonment, forgetfulness or unkindness of others.
Help me when I am hurting to admit it to you, my heavenly Father, and to the other person when appropriate. Help me to do this without blaming, accusing, or labeling them or their actions. After all, I do not answer for their actions, I answer only for my own. Have mercy on them, as they do not know the effects of what they have done.
Give me courage and strength to change my reactions to others.
Give me serenity to accept where they are at and what they are capable of in this relationship.
Give me discernment to know the difference between what I can change and what I cannot change.
Give me wisdom to only invest my thoughts and energy in changing what I am in control of…nothing more and nothing less.
If I am granted the right amount of courage, serenity, and discernment, I will be equipped to invest with those who are receptive, and I will also be able to ‘shake it off’ with those who are not receptive.
Help me to listen to the voice of truth and reason while never underestimating the power of my emotions.
To ignore my emotion sets me up to have a spillover reaction towards others. To place too much value on emotion will lead me to isolate in hopes of avoiding discomfort. So, there is a delicate balance that I am incapable of managing on my own. This is the reason for me to be conscious of the ever-present help of my creator, my heavenly Father.
To be conscious of His presence, I choose to be mindful and fully tuned into His words more than any other.
For further study: Scripture adapted from NIV Holy Bible, Hosea 6:8, Zephaniah 3:17, Matthew 10, 12 & 13.
M. Diane Pearce, Ph.D, LMFT
As I celebrate the birth of Jesus, I tend to over schedule, over socialize, over spend, and I get overwhelmed. (Merry Christmas!) Like a clown juggler, I attempt to balance my schedule, socializing, finances, health, and holiday cheer (I think). Then I strive to focus on the One who made Christmas possible. Ironic, don’t you think?
In my constant flurry of activity, perhaps it is time to STOP! Perhaps I can take a deep breath of fresh air and consider some advice from the One who has made Christmas possible.
My Father tells me to "preserve sound judgment and discernment." He tells me to "never let it out of my sight." It does not take a doctor to know that there may be a problem here. He also tells me that If I follow this path of "sound judgment and discernment," I will "go forth in safety and I will not stumble." That sounds like a good deal to me (and, let me tell you, I know a good deal when I see one, because, as you may have guessed, I have practiced looking for good deals a lot!). Also, I need all the help I can get in the "not stumbling" part. I have been a stumbling kind of person my entire life! But, I digress, that is another story for another day.
Back to the sweet deal of walking the "sound judgment and discernment" path. This sounds like a sweet deal to my simple-minded ways. Oh, but it gets better! He also tells me that if I follow this path, I will "lie down without being afraid, and my sleep will be sweet." Sleep that is not out of pure exhaustion can be sweet (at least that is what I tell myself). Really? I am a skeptic! If a deal sounds too good to be true, don’t trust it! Right? But, this is my Father who is telling me this! He says that He is my confidence. But I am a pretty self-reliant, logical woman with a few degrees and several years of experience. Yet He tells me that my confidence should be in Him, not in myself?
My faithful and trustworthy Father who made me, who has sworn to protect me, equips me and teaches me how to do this complicated thing called life. He tells me to STOP! So I take a deep breath, and I am quiet and still, inside and outside. He reminds me that He loves me! He delights in me. He is patient with me when I go off on my own agenda, because He knows I will always return. He knows me well, because He made me, just as I am.
I am & always will be broken and in recovery.
I am & always will struggle with being too blunt to be socially acceptable.
I am & always will struggle with vacillating between being too honest and too quiet.
I am & always will be a skeptic of what appears perfect.
I am & always will be driven to find a way, when others say, there is no way.
I am & always will be unimpressed with social status and authority.
I am & always will struggle to understand social cues.
I am & always will be in recovery from asking too many questions in pursuit of truth.
I am & always will struggle with not fitting in with the majority.
Yes, I am messy and broken. I will forget some things. Dinner may get burnt or forgotten. My Christmas gifts may not be exactly as others want them to be. I will likely not get the best deal out there. I will disappoint those around me.
But, I know who my Father is! So, for now, I accept that I am incapable of the Christmas juggle. My confidence must come from my Father. Not from myself.
Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas!
Broken and in recovery…just as I am,
M. Diane Pearce
Co-Founder of Legacy Strategy, Inc.
(For further study, see NIV Proverbs 3:21-26, Zeph. 3:17)
We live in peace when daily we….
If we live in this way daily, we will feel the embrace of our Maker’s arms as we live a life that pleases Him.
When we delight in knowing our Maker, We will live in Peace…..
Derived from NIV Holy Bible, I Thessalonians 5:8-24
By: Dr. M. Diane Pearce, Ph.D., LMFT
The ‘RELATIONAL’ aspects of preparing for the Holidays can be the most overwhelming portion of all seasons of busyness. There are times we may wonder….’Where is my Holiday Spirit?’
When faced with the relational challenges that lie ahead of us, these few ‘Soul Care Habits’ can bring it all into focus!
When Expectations abound = Practice Flexibility!
When Rudeness abounds =Practice Protecting Dignity!
When Crankiness abounds = Practice Affirming Others!
When Negativity abounds = Practice Speaking Positives!
We all will find these habits a challenge! Christ abounded in Love in the face of being misunderstood, mistreated and abused to the point of death. Perhaps this season, we can share just a little ‘Christmas Spirit’ by practicing love in the midst of our circumstances.
When Boundaries are crossed - Can we give the benefit of the doubt & protect dignity as we speak truthfully to others?
When others are moody – Can we look for the good in them & tell them the good that we see?
When others disappoint us – Can we take it in stride & tell them we miss their sweet side?
When we are overwhelmed – Can we slow down, be quiet and practice being our best self?
When we are tempted to use Alcohol to self soothe – Can we restrict our intake so that we do not lose control over self?
When we feel lonely – Can we prompt intimacy with others by telling them what we admire about them?
Let us all remember….we have all been cranky, weak, negative, moody, rude and we all have disappointed someone. Can we act towards others the way that we would want them to act towards us?
Let us be the 1st to:
May you find Peace & Hope as you practice loving others with a true ‘Christmas Spirit’.
Merry Christmas to us all.
M. Diane Pearce, Ph.D., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
By: Dr. M. Diane Pearce, PH.D, LMFT
Legacy strategy Blog
Legacy Strategy, Inc. is a private counseling practice in Kennesaw, Georgia.