The other day I was sitting at a red light. I wasn't in a particular hurry. I wasn't running late. Both nice changes of pace for me. But what I noticed was that my immediate reaction once I had stopped was to reach of my phone and see what I had missed, or better yet, if anyone had missed me and reached out. It's like I'm afraid to be alone with my own thoughts sometimes, so I just start flexing my thumbs for their workout.

Later that day, I was at the gym. I was pretty proud of myself - I was running hard, sweating...you know, doing things I pay a gym for...and I was in the moment. I was not running while staring at my phone. I was not lifting dumbbells while replying to texts in between reps. I was just in the moment. It was awesome. Better yet, it was freeing.

I had this thought - "I'm here training and conditioning my muscles, but it's my actual thumbs (Are there muscles in there? There has to be, right?) that need the most help. It's my thumbs that reach for the apps (Hello, Facebook!), for the notification of new emails, and for the keyboard letters to respond to a text. It's those dang thumbs fault I'm so addicted to my phone.

But it's actually not their fault; it's mine and no one else's. I'm the culprit who manipulates my thumbs to respond to the slightest break in my schedule to see what the world has been up to since I had last checked (no more than 12 minutes ago, I'm sure). It's my fault, and mine only. So me and my thumbs have got some work to do. Actually, I've got some work to do. My thumbs...they actually need a break. 

We live in peace when daily we….

• Work with full engagement in every area that is provided.
• Encourage others to avoid spending time without purpose.
  
• Build up those who are timid or weak.
• Practice patience & give the benefit of the doubt.
• Set Boundaries that respect Dignity of self & others.
• Avoid paying back wrong for wrong.
• Show kindness with those around us.
• Practice looking for the reasons for joy.
• Pray when disappointed, aggravated & Blessed.
• Practice Thankfulness inwardly & outwardly.
• Test all things in order to discern good from evil.
• Cling to what is morally good.
• Avoid what is morally wrong.

 We live in Peace when we practice these habits & we remember our maker is the Keeper of our Soul. It is from the Soul that our true identity arises.
If we live in this way daily, we will feel the embrace of our Maker’s arms as we live a life that pleases Him.
When we delight in knowing our Maker, We will live in Peace…..
Derived from NIV Holy Bible, I Thessalonians 5:8-24

The ‘RELATIONAL’ aspects of preparing for the Holidays can be  the most overwhelming portion of all seasons of busyness. There are times we may wonder….’Where is my Holiday Spirit?’

When faced with the relational challenges that lie ahead of us, these few ‘Soul Care Habits’ can bring it all into focus!
When Expectations abound = Practice Flexibility!
When Rudeness abounds =Practice Protecting Dignity!
When Crankiness abounds = Practice Affirming Others!
When Negativity abounds = Practice Speaking Positives!
 
We all will find these habits a challenge! Christ abounded in Love in the face of being misunderstood, mistreated and abused to the point of death. Perhaps this season, we can share just a little ‘Christmas Spirit’ by practicing love in the midst of our circumstances.
 
When Boundaries are crossed - Can we give the benefit of the doubt & protect dignity as we speak truthfully to others?
When others are moody – Can we look for the good in them & tell them the good that we see?
When others disappoint us – Can we take it in stride & tell them we miss their sweet side?
When we are overwhelmed – Can we slow down, be quiet and practice being our best self?
When we are tempted to use Alcohol to self soothe – Can we restrict our intake so that we do not lose control over self?
When we feel lonely – Can we prompt intimacy with others by telling them what we admire about them?
Let us all remember….we have all been cranky, weak, negative, moody, rude and we all have disappointed someone. Can we act towards others the way that we would want them to act towards us?

Let us be the 1st to:

• Be Patient!
  
• Let others go first!
  
• Increase our tolerance of the human side of others!
  
• Let Go of our right to hold on to how others have wronged us!
  
• Trust with Discernment!
  
• Speak Truthfully & with Dignity!
  
• Speak about what is good, admirable and worthy of honor!
  

May you find Peace & Hope as you practice loving others with a true ‘Christmas Spirit’.

Merry Christmas to us all.

Warmly,
M. Diane Pearce, Ph.D., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist