LEGACY STRATEGY
  • Home
  • Our Mission
  • Services
  • Our Team
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Client Forms
    • FAQ
  • Contact

12 Lessons on Marriage: Lesson #3

6/5/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture

You Probably Married the Wrong Person

​​By: Jeff Pipe, PsyD

If you’re not sure, then you’ve probably married the wrong person.  If you’ve not yet realized that the Gospel - and not your marriage - is the solution to what ails you, then you are probably lost in your disappointment or your shame and feeling like you married the wrong person.  After all, things aren’t working in the marriage…. and you can see that you weren’t really ready to marry when you did…and you didn’t really know what you wanted and needed then… you were too young… and now it seems clear that you married him/her for the wrong reason - you felt pressure from your parents, you got pregnant, you wanted to get away from your parents, you were just stupid.  You weren’t a good fit; you’re not compatible.  You don’t share the same interests or values - he’s just not as thoughtful or sensitive as you are; she’s so anxious and inhibited; he can’t appreciate your creativity; she’ll never be adventurous; he doesn’t… she can’t… Your building frustration and pain and shame are compelling evidence for the idea that you married the wrong person.

It’s a reasonable conclusion.  It’s not true, but it’s reasonable.  You just don’t have the perspective yet to realize that everyone marries the wrong person at the wrong time for the wrong reason.  It’s not about who you marry, but what you do with the relationship.  In spite of the differences you and your spouse have, you are as well-suited for each other as any other couple out there.   You are no more socially attractive, physically attractive, intelligent or emotionally/relationally mature than your spouse.  “Crazy marries crazy.”  You don’t know that trading one spouse for another is, at best, trading one set of problems for a different set.  “Its six of one or a half-dozen of the other.”  Though your relationship  problems are unique to you in their quality, they’re no different in quantity from the challenges and conflicts other couples are confronting.  But, until you’ve burned through a couple of marriages, you really can’t see that.

Perhaps if you find someone more suited to you, the second marriage will be easier.  It won’t - it will likely be harder… but you won’t be able to scapegoat your spouse and you will be more motivated.  Nobody wants to divorce twice.  You can kick the can down the road for a little while longer with a second marriage, but you’ll eventually have to do the work you avoided in the first marriage.  But how could you know
​that yet?

Image by tirachardz
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Legacy Strategy Blog

    Meet Our Team
    Contact Us
    Legacy Strategy, Inc. is a private counseling practice in Kennesaw, Georgia.

    Archives

    October 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    November 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    December 2017
    April 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    January 2016

    Categories

    All
    Amanda
    Chip
    Diane
    Jennifer
    Tray

    RSS Feed

HOME
SERVICES
CONTACT

Legacy strategy

1815 Old 41 Hwy NW, Suite 110,
Kennesaw, GA 30152


(678) 468.9103
Picture

© COPYRIGHT 2020 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
  • Home
  • Our Mission
  • Services
  • Our Team
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Client Forms
    • FAQ
  • Contact